Forwarded Message Follows
SUGGESTED ADDITIONS TO THE 1997 DICTIONARY
(kar' pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or
a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining
it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.
DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt') v. To sterilize the piece
of candy you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, somehow assuming this will
"remove" all the germs.
ECNALUBMA (ek na lub' ma) n. A rescue vehicle which can only
be seen in the rearview mirror.
EIFFELITES (eye' ful eyetz) n. Gangly people sitting in front
of you at the movies who, no matter what direction you lean, follow suit.
ELBONICS (el bon' iks) n. The actions of two people maneuvering
for one armrest at a movie theater.
ELECELLERATION (el a cel er ay' shun) n. The mistaken notion
that the more you press an elevator button the faster it will arrive.
FRUST (frust) n. The small line of debris that refuses to be
swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally
decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.
LACTOMANGULATION (lak' to man gyu lay' shun) n. Manhandling the
"open here" spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the "illegal"
PEPPIER (pehp ee ay') n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose
sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want ground pepper.
PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone
number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.
PUPKUS (pup' kus) n. The moist residue left on a window after
a dog presses its nose to it.
TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun) n. The act of always
letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you're
only six inches away.